90 Extremely Funny Jokes For A Sweetheart

Spread the love

Contents

90 Extremely Funny Jokes For A Sweetheart

Here are 90 extremely funny jokes for a sweetheart, if you’ve been looking for ways to crack up your partner. Expression in every relationship builds understanding. There is always more than one way to express yourself to each other. One way to express yourself to your partner is through humor.jokes for a sweetheart

  It is not necessary for both of you to have the same sense of humor, but you can improve his or her day with a few jokes of your own. On that note you’ll need to know what type of joke cracks up your partner. What is their sense of humor? What type of jokes does your partner like? Witty or a good knock knock joke? Or does him or her just like or really enjoys sarcasm?

   Love jokes are really cute and thoughtful gestures, whether you live together or not, it is a great thing to send to your significant other anytime of the day. You can send love jokes after date or a little disagreement or just to put a smile on your partner’s face.

FUNNY LOVE JOKES FOR A WIFE OR HUSBAND

  1. Why should you never break up with a goalie? Because he is a keeper.
  2. What did one boat say to the other boat? Are you interested in a little row-mance?
  3. You are like asthma. You just take my breath away.
  4. Can I borrow a kiss from you? I promise to give it back.
  5. Knock knock, who’s there? Candice, Candice, who? Candice be love I’m feeling right now.
  6. I love you with all my butt; I would have said my heart butt my butt is bigger.
  7. You are just like my car sweetheart. You drive me crazy.
  8. Why do men like to fall in love at first sight? Because doing so saves them a lot of money.
  9. I don’t know your name yet but it must be WIFI because I am feeling
  10. Knock knock, who’s there? Owl, owl, who? Owl always love you
  11. Knock knock, who’s there? Candice, Candice, who? Candice be love I’m feeling right now.
  12. What happened to the two vampires who went on their first date? It was love at first bite.
  13. Did I tell you that the girl I’m seeing works at the zoo? I think she’s a keeper.
  14. Love is like having to pass gas. If you force, then you are going to make a mess.
  15. I think you must be suffering from a lack of vitamin me.
  16. Let’s commit the perfect crime together. I’ll steal your heart and you’ll steal mine.
  17. Do you have a bandage? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
  18. On a scale from 1 to 10, you are the only 1 for me.
  19. Love is when I walk to the other side of the classroom to sharpen my pen just so I can see her. And then realize I’m holding my pen.
  20. Why should you never marry a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them.
  21. You cannot buy love but you can still pay heavily for it.
  22. My wife is definitely a sex object in that every time I ask for sex, she objects.
  23. Marriage is a great invention, so was the toaster.
  24. Knock knock, who’s there? Harry, Harry, who? Harry up and kiss me.
  25. Knock knock, who’s there? Luke, Luke, who? Luke into my eyes and tell me what you see.
  26. A couple is on a date at a fancy restaurant. The woman tells the man to say something to her that would make her heart race. He replies, “I forgot my wallet.”
  27. You are in my heart, my mind, and my entire body. In fact, my doctor said you are a parasite.
  28. The voice of love seemed to call me, and then I realized that it was a wrong number.
  29. Love is a form of amnesia where a girl forgets that there are about 1.2 billion other boys out there in the world.
  30. Do you want to know why my husband and I will never ever need a marriage counselor? He majored in communications in college and I majored in theater. So he communicates with me a lot and I always make the effort to pretend to listen.
  31. One day, a husband told his wife that her rear end was getting so big that it was as big as their grill. Later that night, he tried to get intimate with her in bed only for the wife to reply, “do you really think that I am going to fire up this grill for just one little weenie?”
  32. How did the telephone propose to its girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
  33. A husband and wife are drinking wine at home. The wife says, “I love you.” The husband asks if that is her or the wine talking. She replies, “It’s me talking to the wine.”
  34. You should never be in a big rush to end your marriage with your spouse. You never know if you might need them to finish a sentence.
  35. What are the three rings of marriage? They are the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.
  36. Love thy neighbor, but make sure that her husband is away
  37. Love is a very complex matter of chemistry. And that is why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
  38. A husband was throwing knives at his wife’s photo and missing the target. All of a sudden, she called to ask what he was doing. His reply was, “I am missing you.”
  39. A woman made the decision to break off her recent engagement and her friend said, ‘what happened? I thought it was love at first sight!” To which the woman replied, “but the second and third ones changed my mind.’
  40. My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
  41. You are like my dentures. I cannot smile without you.
  42. Falling in love is like going into a river. It is much easier to get in it than it is to get out of it.
  43. What did the artist say to his girlfriend? I really love you with all my art.
  44. What book do women like the most? Their boyfriend’s paycheck.

FOR A BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND

  1. What is loud and obnoxious? Your girlfriend.
  2. What’s 6 inches long. 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild? A $100 bill
  3. . “Am I cute enough yet or do you need more of those vodkas?”
  4. Hold out your hand and say, “would you be kind enough to hold this while I go out for a walk?”
  5. “If you were Christmas, I would be the Grinch who stole you!”
  6. You must be an interior decorator because when you walked in, the room was suddenly beautiful and perfect.
  7. Say in a hushed tone, “If you turn me down, then I am going to tell NASA that you are smoking hot and the real cause of global warming.”
  8. I will love you forever LOL! I can’t live that long.
  9. Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
  10. Wife: “In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond!”

Husband: “I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill.”

  1. Never laugh at your significant other’s choices because you happen to be one of them.
  2. Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!
  3. For some reason, I was feeling a little off today. But you came along, you d7. Are you religious? Because you are the answer to all my prayers.
  4. Would you grab my arm, so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?
  5. There’s only one thing I want to change about you, and that’s your last name.
  6. I think you might have something in your eye. Oh, hold on, that’s just a twinkle.
  7. Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: “Disneyland left.” So they went home.
  8. How do you tickle a rich girl? Say Gucci! Gucci! Gucci!
  9. There’s something wrong with my bed. What? You are on it.
  10. I lost my phone number. Can I just have yours?
  11. I must be hunting treasure because I’m digging your chest.
  12. Are you from Tennessee? Because you are the only ten I see.
  13. If I had a nickel for every girl I had ever seen who was as gorgeous as you are, I’d have…5 cents.
  14. I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.
  15. A T-REX told his girlfriend, “I love you this much, “as he stretched out his arms. To which the girlfriend replied, “that’s not very much at all!”
  16. The brain is the most impressive organ in our whole body. From the day you are born, it works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, right up until you fall in love.
  17. Women can fake an orgasm, while men can fake a relationship.
  18. Why do painters always fall in love for their models? Because they love them with all of their heart.
  19. What’s the difference between love and herpes? Love does not last forever.
  20. Forget about the butterflies. When I am with you, I feel the whole zoo.
  21. The woman was hungry for love and had no idea when her next male was coming.
  22. What is the ideal marriage? One that is between a spouse that is deaf and a spouse that is blind.
  23. I always like to let my wife know who the boss is in the house. And I do that by holding a mirror up to her face.
  24. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Abby, Abby, who? Abby anniversary my love.
  25. What is the main difference between love and marriage? Love is blind. Marriage, on the other hand is the eye opener.
  26. I was married to a judge. Little did I know that I should have asked for a jury too.
  27. Marriage comes with no guarantees, so if that is what you are looking for, then you are better off buying a car battery.
  28. Do you know what the big difference is between love and marriage? Love is the sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.
  29. An archaeologist is definitely the best husband a woman could ever have. The reason for this is because the older she gets, the more hell be interested in her.
  30. When a man goes and steals your wife, the best revenge that you can have is to let him keep her.
  31. Love is a condition of temporary insanity. And the only available cure for this sickness is marriage.
  32. Do you want to know why I plan on no longer using Google anymore? Because after all this time that I have spent searching, I have found the love of my life and it is you.
  33. What did the astronaut’s fiancé say when he proposed to her in open outer space? She said, “I can’t breathe!”
  34. My husband is of the opinion that I am absolutely crazy. But if he is the one who decided to get married to me, that makes him even crazier than I am.
  35. A man and a woman were getting married in a courthouse. As they were leaving the courtroom, the bride said to the groom, “isn’t it nice to be here when we are not being convicted of something?”
  36. It is very important to have a woman who can cook, clean, and take care of the kids. And it is just as important to have a woman who can keep you happy in bed. And most of all, it is important that these two women never meet.
  37. I have been happily and blissfully married for 5 years…out of a total of 20.

Here are 90 of the most funny jokes you can use to crack up your partner and make  his/her day. I hope you really liked it.

Thanks for reading.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *